All The Important Things About Dave

A small tribute to a man whom I'm sure was my personal Angel when I was a child.

Grandfather and Grandchild by Daniel Eblahan

All The Important Things About Dave

There was a quiet strength about Dave - tall and slim with a no nonsense feel, softened by his grace and humor.  His walk was sure and purposeful. Easily in his late 70's; the lines on his face boasted the living of years long past. His eyes were gentle, kind, and grey as I recall.

I don't believe I ever knew where Dave came to us from, or where he went to when he left us. I don't know what he did for a living or if he had a family of his own. In reality I knew very little about Dave. The only tangible thing I knew was that he was my grandfathers friend who came to stay with us every summer.  And yet I knew all the most important things about Dave.

Looking back, it seems most of my memories of Dave are very similar in nature. He showed up at our house suit case in hand. He rarely made it the entire way up the walk to the front door due to the small redhead girl running to throw her arms around his thighs while excitedly asking how long he would stay. Never more than a week. Never long enough for me. 

Every summer Dave arrived via Greyhound which used the back of Sequim Drug Store as a depot.  The summer of my eighth year I recall my mother giving me money and sending me to that drug store for aspirin. Much to my joy and surprise, while I was there Dave got off the bus. He held my hand and told me funny stories of people he met and things he had learned on his journey as we walked home. I adored him.

Dave liked to sit outside in the grass while my siblings and I played out in the yard. Which often resulted in me sitting in the grass by his side. My favourite memory of Dave was on such a day. As we chatted he reached down and plucked a single blade of grass. He smiled at me as he set the blade between his thumbs and brought them to his lips, and blew. I was delighted as the hidden magic within Dave released the magic trapped inside the grass and it sang a long joyous note, as if thanking him for setting it free; and then another, and then another.  "That was cool!" I said, "I didn't know you could do that!"  "Would you like to learn how?" Dave asked. 

In answer I picked a blade of grass of my own and Dave shared his magic with me. He spent some time gently guiding me through the process of "allowing the grass to sing." He never lost patience with me.  After that we played duets.  We laughed together as grass blades got worn out and had to be replaced.

Dave was also the first to talk to me about the stars. I remember standing in the side yard with him after dinner. He had one hand resting on my shoulder as he pointed out constellations with the other. He told me stories about the stars. Dave always had fascinating stories to tell about everything.  When I asked questions his answers were simple and forthright. He never spoke down to me. His smile was easy and true.  Dave was one of the few adults in my life to have given me the gift of his undivided attention. There was so much love in him!

And then one sad summer, he simply didn't come... If you were to question me I couldn't tell you any statistics about Dave. I don't know where he was born or how old he was when he died.  And yet I knew all the most important things about Dave.

© Rapture's Corner 

My mother tells me that Dave was a Powder Monkey (he set off dynamite for a living) who lived in Vermont. Other than that she seems to have known very little about Dave as well. But we both loved him very much.

"The Faith Of A Child"

When my family was young we acquired 2 cats. They were brother and sister who were eight months old when they came to us. We were told they were "weird"... "especially the female."

Because the male was deep blue black with amber eyes and the female was snow white with ice blue eyes we named them Ebony and Ivory.  They instantly became a very loved part of our family. We noticed that Ebony was affectionate and vocal while Ivory was skittish and never made a sound... not even so much as a quiet purr.

It didn't take long to see that there was indeed something "weird" going on. Ivory was extremely jumpy. At first I thought the woman we got them from had been abusive because every time anyone got close to Ivory she scurried away in fright.

At feeding time Ivory never arrived in the kitchen at the sound of a can opening but rather her brother Ebony would take her by the scruff of  her neck and drag her to the feeding bowls. Ebony was very protective and nurturing towards his sister.  He could have easily eaten all the canned food and let her get by on the dry food alone.  I admired him for that even though I didn't understand why Ivory never came on her own... but I think Ebony knew instinctively what was wrong.

Because of their age Ebony and Ivory came to us spayed and with  all their shots but I made an appointment for them both to have a check up as soon we got them. However it was over a week before the Vet could see them so we became well acquainted with the nuances of this odd behavior prior to that appointment.

When the day arrived I explained to the Vet what we had observed. Our Vet was quick to tell me that Ivory was Albino and therefore deaf. I was stunned. It was so obvious! Suddenly her behavior made perfect sense.  Just the same I asked the Vet if he could test her hearing. He was happy to oblige me and confirmed that Ivory was indeed deaf.

At the time my son was age 6 and my daughter was age 4.  On the way home I thought how difficult this news might be for them to understand having not yet encountered anyone with special needs in their young lives. I weighed what to say and how to say it in a positive way hoping that I could instil in my young ones the acceptance that all of us are children of the Universe no matter ones individual circumstance. It never occurred to me that I might be the one about to learn something.

When I arrived home that afternoon I let the cats out of the carrier, gave them their can of food and called my children in from the back yard to tell them the news. I didn't get very far into my prepared thoughts. As soon as I had explained what the Vet had said about Ivory my daughter began crying huge heartbroken tears and burst out "But God can heal her!" Where had that come from? I hadn't expected that. I stared at her dumbly. "We should pray" she insisted.

"Alright honey," I said, "you can pray for her." Ivory appeared in the dining room doorway where we stood by the sliding glass door as if on cue. My daughter sat down on the floor and placed her hands on each side of Ivory petting her as she spoke. My son joined her.

I have to be honest. I didn't really hear the prayer spoken by my daughter. I was too busy offering up my own which went something like this: "Hey up there, my children are heartbroken over this thing and now they think some miracle will make it better. How am I going to explain it to them when nothing happens? I need wisdom and I need it now! Is anyone listening?"

When both prayers were over my children continued to hold Ivory in silence and love on her for a few minutes. "I'm going to make dinner" I said as I stepped towards the kitchen. "Mom" said my son, "she looked at you when you spoke."  I was sure it was just coincidence. I smiled at them, "Go out and play. I'll call you when dinners ready" I told them.

Ivory accompanied me to the kitchen where she watched my every move. The clanging of pans as I pulled them from the cupboard seemed to startle her. "How odd" I thought, "she's never done that before." Still I was convinced it was just hopeful thinking on my part.

The next day was Saturday so we were home when it happened. Ebony let out his usual meow of morning greeting as he rubbed himself on my legs. I reached down to pet him and told him what a wonderful boy he is.  He "talked" to us from time to time through out the morning. Ivory followed him around like a lost puppy which was not her usual behaviour.

Just after lunch Ivory let out her first meow. It was a quiet timid sound at first but increased in volume as she discovered her voice. Over the next few days Ivory explored her voice and made noises I had never heard any cat make. She chirped... she squealed... she chattered... and of course she meowed.

My children were elated to say the least. "I knew Jesus would heal her!" beamed my daughter. I on the other hand went into analytical mode. Had someone or something called "God" really healed this cat? The thought was overwhelming. It's not that I hadn't experienced supernatural events in my life. I had. Yet somewhere along the way I had lost the ability to believe. Why was that? What was really going on here?

I called the Vet on Monday and asked for Ivory to be rechecked. Another week went by before he could get her in. The Vet was guarded and non-committal in attitude. Yes, she seemed to be able to hear but maybe she had just learned to "feel sound waves"... or perhaps she had been able to hear when he tested her last but due to the stress of being in his office was "simply unresponsive". Okay, I didn't blame him for his position. But the fact remained that Ivory's behaviour had radically changed. He had at least offered conformation that she was now able to hear.

Over the course of the next few weeks Ivory settled down and became by all appearances a normal, non-skittish, affectionate feline. But she had given our family an extraordinary gift. She had allowed us to experience the unexplainable. She had restored my faith in a universe of possibilities beyond my understanding. And most importantly she affirmed my children's ability to believe... What they choose to believe is of course up to them. As for me, I celebrate the mystery and beauty of Creation, as well as that of the human spirit, and I am grateful for that gift of life and all the miraculous promise that it entails.

© Rapture's Corner

(Please note the photo above was found online. I don't know the source to give proper credit but it is just too perfect not to use.)

Because No One Should Ever Forget...

This just popped into my head this morning as a complete verse. When I get a "popping" I presume it comes from the Universal Consciousness.  I'm posting it here because I believe it's something no one should ever forget...

"You are loved beyond comprehension

You are everything that matters to me

I am with you through every dimension

And all you have to do is just be" 


© Rapture's Corner

You And I

In honor of Valentine's Day I've tried my hand at poetry.  Elizabeth Barrett Browning I'm not but I do have a wonderfully inspiring man in my life.  This is for you Daniel... I love you with all my heart.

You And I

Your smile is the sunlight warming my face
I am the flower seeking your rays

Your laughter is the wind blowing through the trees
I am the leaves released and dancing

Your voice is the rain watering the soil
I am the earth no longer thirsty

Your kiss is the moonlight caressing the ocean
I am the water reflecting your beauty

Your touch is the dew shining in the dawn
I am the grass dressed in diamonds

Your eyes are the stars in the midnight sky 
I am the earth illuminated by your gaze

Your love is the very beating of my heart
I am love resonate and resounding

© Rapture's Corner

Children of the Universe

When I was in my teens my best friend was a boy named Walter.  I was blessed to have had several "best" friends over my teen years but Walter was always the closest of them.  He was absolutely the best thing in my life at that time. He was outrageous, quirky, and fun. Walter has been know to wear a dress for sheer shock value. He was also sometimes contemplative, quiet, and deep. He could be as playful and joyful as a child or as spiritual and wise as the oldest Sage.

Walter and I never dated, it was purely platonic. Sometimes we held hands, and if we shared a kiss it was always brotherly / sisterly in nature. Our connection was deep and rare. Looking back I'm sure this was not our first lifetime shared. I have been beautifully haunted by memories of Walter all day.

As most teen girls at that time I babysat for extra spending money. It didn't matter if either he or I were dating someone, babysitting night was never without Walter. It was "our time."  Once the children were asleep we would talk or play games or snuggle on the sofa and watch movies for hours.

If I was grounded Walter was ever faithful to call me in the evenings and keep me company. It was on such an evening that Walter introduced me to Desiderata. He read it to me over the phone and we philosophized over it in all directions, probing together at the secrets of our place in this universe. He gave me a poster of it at school the next day. (I wish I had that poster still.)

Walter gave me many wonderful gifts over those years. He shared with me his playfulness, his dreams, his ideas, but the best gifts that he gave me were his acceptance and his love. Walter was my rock. I will love him always. Sadly he succumbed to cancer about 2 years ago.

To this day Desiderata remains one of my all time favorite writings. I like to read it now and then and ponder the depth of it's simplicity and the beauty of its wisdom. Having read it just this morning is probably why I've been thinking of my beautiful friend today.

I'm sure most everyone is familiar with Desiderata but one can never read it too often, so I'm posting it here as a sort of tribute to my departed friend. I love you Walter... I'm so thankful that we were "children of the universe" together.

 

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence. 

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit. 

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. 

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass. 

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. 

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. 

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul. 

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.


 © Rapture's Corner

From The Ashes

This, my first post was inspired by an encounter I had with a client this morning who shared with me the agony of having discovered that her adult daughter had been molested as a child. As a result her daughter is an adult who can barely function because the wound in her spirit is so deep. I had not intended to write about this topic. I hadn't actually given much thought as to what my first post might be but, somehow this seems fitting for me.

Perhaps no one will ever read this; perhaps it will be read by many. Perhaps it may make some of you uncomfortable, but I'm not writing for you. I'm writing for the one person who may glean a sparkle of hope, insight, healing... and I'm writing for me. I intend to be painfully honest. I intend to speak my truth.

While listening to this woman's story I realized that I (for whatever reason) am a very blessed woman. I was also sexually abused, as well as emotionally abused. Yet unlike her daughter I'm vibrant - I thrive. I own a successful business, I've raised 2 wonderful children, I have a beautiful life and I never give the abuse of the past a thought unless someone shares with me and awakens the memory. This was not always the case. I was a very angry young woman. And so my journey has been one of forgiveness and healing.

I was 8 years old when my stepfather came to my room for the first time. When I told my mother in the morning she said "Honey you must have dreamed that. He was in bed with me all night." The molestation continued but I remained silent for a time because there was no one to hear me. At the age of 14 I again approached my mother and told her that her husband had been coming to visit my room almost every night since I was 8. She responded "You have never liked him. You might be saying this to break up our family." And with that I was sent to Seattle to live with my Nana and uncle.

I spent too many years of my life feeling betrayed and victimized. Wasted years of depression and anger. But I also spent a lot of that time seeking truth. Asking God and myself what had to happen to get on with my life. Then one day I realized it was my choice. I could get better or I could be bitter. I had to forgive them because in not forgiving them I was only harming myself. I was giving power to something unworthy and beneath me. The only way for me to heal was to forgive. I struggled with that at first because I didn't believe they deserved it. But I deserved it! It took at least a year of meditation on that intent before I realized it was working. I later discovered it to be far more difficult to forgive myself, but in forgiving them I took my power back and that was a good start.

To heal oneself is never simple. It's a very difficult thing to undertake. My journey of healing turned out to have many layers and took many years. And even though I never give the molestation of my childhood a thought these days I've come to realize that in some ways I'm healing still. But If I had the ability to go back in time and stop that abuse from happening in my life - I wouldn't do it. I would not change a thing! That experience taught me to trust in a higher power. It taught me to have compassion. To love. To forgive... and to believe in myself. For that I am filled with gratitude! If I can rise from those ashes I can overcome anything! And rise I did. I am amazing for all I've been through. I'm absolutely beautiful and perfect in all my many imperfections, and if your motivation is love and healing, so are you...


 © Rapture's Corner