For A Time

The poem below is born of grief, & release. (It's still quite raw. I'm only just now getting to the release part.)  It's been a long time since I've done any creative writing... Too long really. Sadly the love story of MagicMan & Rapture has come to an end. It was a beautiful time in my life. My grief at the loss has been all consuming. It will be awhile before I'm done healing from this one. But I must release and move on in love.

The Summoning of the Muse by Andrew Gonzales

For A Time

Once, your face was my cosmos. Your voice was my comfort. Your laughter was my courage. Once, in all that is, there was only we.

For a time we bathed in our passions like toddlers playing in the sun. We ran naked with abandon through fields of rapture, and rapture embraced us.

We learned wildness from the flowers, and lay down among them spilling our essence to one another in glorious fortitude.

For a time the river sang delight in the joy we brought to her banks, and her lusty ballads of our love filled the ardent sky.

Then, fingers of trepidation tore at us, and we lost our way. There we threw off our trust, ran blindly into madness... and were lost to ourselves.

For a time I walked with sorrow, under grieving stars. I waltzed with anger while loath and love played duos of conflicting melodies.

Ardor for what has been clashes against the now, building only future confinement. Rather, I release you. I forgive you. I forgive us.

© Rapture's Corner

Possibilities Undreamed

Sometimes the Universe gives you a gift, and when you receive it

you realize it was yours all along. ~ This is for you Darling Josie.

Within the confines of forever lay possibilities undreamed.
The voice of my heart has called to you across infinity.
My soul has sung your song, both in eulogy and  hope.

When you appeared your name mingled with mine own.
In your eyes are the echo's of a hundred lifetimes.
Full circle we have come Dear One, through realities 
undefined, and once again our souls remember...

 © Rapture's Corner 

She Came To Visit In The Fall

This post is about my very personal experience with Fibromyalgia.

She Came To Visit In The Fall

She came to visit in the fall. I ignored her. She kissed me on the neck and tapped me on the shoulders vying for attention. I was busy. "If I can just get through October I can rest" I told myself. I did not yet fully understand her nature.

November came and still she stayed, reminding me of her presence in subtle ways.  I think I know her name. I hardly recognized her. It had been so long. Remission had displaced her long ago.  "No, she can't be back" I told myself.

I encouraged her departure. She didn't seem to notice.  But she did for a time stand still as if firmly stating her intent to stay.  By December I know who she is. Yet still I deny it. I don't want acknowledge her or speak her name.

In January she commanded my attention. She scratched at me in a wild dance of vengeance. I tried to dance around her but her aim was true. Still I told myself she would soon be gone. In response, she put me on my bed. But I arose.

Seeing I was not convinced, she drove me to my knees.  By February I grew tired. She grew stronger.  She demonstrated her cruelty,  reducing me to tears at every chance. I fought to be free of the vortex that is her.  Yet she consumed me.

In March I embraced her, though not welcome, she is here.  I send an invitation to Remission with every bite. I send prayer of gratitude for having known him with every breath.  When he arrives she will be gone. I will be strong once more.

© Rapture's Corner 

All The Important Things About Dave

A small tribute to a man whom I'm sure was my personal Angel when I was a child.

Grandfather and Grandchild by Daniel Eblahan

All The Important Things About Dave

There was a quiet strength about Dave - tall and slim with a no nonsense feel, softened by his grace and humor.  His walk was sure and purposeful. Easily in his late 70's; the lines on his face boasted the living of years long past. His eyes were gentle, kind, and grey as I recall.

I don't believe I ever knew where Dave came to us from, or where he went to when he left us. I don't know what he did for a living or if he had a family of his own. In reality I knew very little about Dave. The only tangible thing I knew was that he was my grandfathers friend who came to stay with us every summer.  And yet I knew all the most important things about Dave.

Looking back, it seems most of my memories of Dave are very similar in nature. He showed up at our house suit case in hand. He rarely made it the entire way up the walk to the front door due to the small redhead girl running to throw her arms around his thighs while excitedly asking how long he would stay. Never more than a week. Never long enough for me. 

Every summer Dave arrived via Greyhound which used the back of Sequim Drug Store as a depot.  The summer of my eighth year I recall my mother giving me money and sending me to that drug store for aspirin. Much to my joy and surprise, while I was there Dave got off the bus. He held my hand and told me funny stories of people he met and things he had learned on his journey as we walked home. I adored him.

Dave liked to sit outside in the grass while my siblings and I played out in the yard. Which often resulted in me sitting in the grass by his side. My favourite memory of Dave was on such a day. As we chatted he reached down and plucked a single blade of grass. He smiled at me as he set the blade between his thumbs and brought them to his lips, and blew. I was delighted as the hidden magic within Dave released the magic trapped inside the grass and it sang a long joyous note, as if thanking him for setting it free; and then another, and then another.  "That was cool!" I said, "I didn't know you could do that!"  "Would you like to learn how?" Dave asked. 

In answer I picked a blade of grass of my own and Dave shared his magic with me. He spent some time gently guiding me through the process of "allowing the grass to sing." He never lost patience with me.  After that we played duets.  We laughed together as grass blades got worn out and had to be replaced.

Dave was also the first to talk to me about the stars. I remember standing in the side yard with him after dinner. He had one hand resting on my shoulder as he pointed out constellations with the other. He told me stories about the stars. Dave always had fascinating stories to tell about everything.  When I asked questions his answers were simple and forthright. He never spoke down to me. His smile was easy and true.  Dave was one of the few adults in my life to have given me the gift of his undivided attention. There was so much love in him!

And then one sad summer, he simply didn't come... If you were to question me I couldn't tell you any statistics about Dave. I don't know where he was born or how old he was when he died.  And yet I knew all the most important things about Dave.

© Rapture's Corner 

My mother tells me that Dave was a Powder Monkey (he set off dynamite for a living) who lived in Vermont. Other than that she seems to have known very little about Dave as well. But we both loved him very much.

You Have Wings ~ Rumi

 

 

 

 

"You were

born

with wings.

You are not

meant

for crawling,

so don't.

You have wings.

Learn

to use them

and fly."

~ Rumi ~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

"Engel" by Jurgen Kolbe

 

"The Faith Of A Child"

When my family was young we acquired 2 cats. They were brother and sister who were eight months old when they came to us. We were told they were "weird"... "especially the female."

Because the male was deep blue black with amber eyes and the female was snow white with ice blue eyes we named them Ebony and Ivory.  They instantly became a very loved part of our family. We noticed that Ebony was affectionate and vocal while Ivory was skittish and never made a sound... not even so much as a quiet purr.

It didn't take long to see that there was indeed something "weird" going on. Ivory was extremely jumpy. At first I thought the woman we got them from had been abusive because every time anyone got close to Ivory she scurried away in fright.

At feeding time Ivory never arrived in the kitchen at the sound of a can opening but rather her brother Ebony would take her by the scruff of  her neck and drag her to the feeding bowls. Ebony was very protective and nurturing towards his sister.  He could have easily eaten all the canned food and let her get by on the dry food alone.  I admired him for that even though I didn't understand why Ivory never came on her own... but I think Ebony knew instinctively what was wrong.

Because of their age Ebony and Ivory came to us spayed and with  all their shots but I made an appointment for them both to have a check up as soon we got them. However it was over a week before the Vet could see them so we became well acquainted with the nuances of this odd behavior prior to that appointment.

When the day arrived I explained to the Vet what we had observed. Our Vet was quick to tell me that Ivory was Albino and therefore deaf. I was stunned. It was so obvious! Suddenly her behavior made perfect sense.  Just the same I asked the Vet if he could test her hearing. He was happy to oblige me and confirmed that Ivory was indeed deaf.

At the time my son was age 6 and my daughter was age 4.  On the way home I thought how difficult this news might be for them to understand having not yet encountered anyone with special needs in their young lives. I weighed what to say and how to say it in a positive way hoping that I could instil in my young ones the acceptance that all of us are children of the Universe no matter ones individual circumstance. It never occurred to me that I might be the one about to learn something.

When I arrived home that afternoon I let the cats out of the carrier, gave them their can of food and called my children in from the back yard to tell them the news. I didn't get very far into my prepared thoughts. As soon as I had explained what the Vet had said about Ivory my daughter began crying huge heartbroken tears and burst out "But God can heal her!" Where had that come from? I hadn't expected that. I stared at her dumbly. "We should pray" she insisted.

"Alright honey," I said, "you can pray for her." Ivory appeared in the dining room doorway where we stood by the sliding glass door as if on cue. My daughter sat down on the floor and placed her hands on each side of Ivory petting her as she spoke. My son joined her.

I have to be honest. I didn't really hear the prayer spoken by my daughter. I was too busy offering up my own which went something like this: "Hey up there, my children are heartbroken over this thing and now they think some miracle will make it better. How am I going to explain it to them when nothing happens? I need wisdom and I need it now! Is anyone listening?"

When both prayers were over my children continued to hold Ivory in silence and love on her for a few minutes. "I'm going to make dinner" I said as I stepped towards the kitchen. "Mom" said my son, "she looked at you when you spoke."  I was sure it was just coincidence. I smiled at them, "Go out and play. I'll call you when dinners ready" I told them.

Ivory accompanied me to the kitchen where she watched my every move. The clanging of pans as I pulled them from the cupboard seemed to startle her. "How odd" I thought, "she's never done that before." Still I was convinced it was just hopeful thinking on my part.

The next day was Saturday so we were home when it happened. Ebony let out his usual meow of morning greeting as he rubbed himself on my legs. I reached down to pet him and told him what a wonderful boy he is.  He "talked" to us from time to time through out the morning. Ivory followed him around like a lost puppy which was not her usual behaviour.

Just after lunch Ivory let out her first meow. It was a quiet timid sound at first but increased in volume as she discovered her voice. Over the next few days Ivory explored her voice and made noises I had never heard any cat make. She chirped... she squealed... she chattered... and of course she meowed.

My children were elated to say the least. "I knew Jesus would heal her!" beamed my daughter. I on the other hand went into analytical mode. Had someone or something called "God" really healed this cat? The thought was overwhelming. It's not that I hadn't experienced supernatural events in my life. I had. Yet somewhere along the way I had lost the ability to believe. Why was that? What was really going on here?

I called the Vet on Monday and asked for Ivory to be rechecked. Another week went by before he could get her in. The Vet was guarded and non-committal in attitude. Yes, she seemed to be able to hear but maybe she had just learned to "feel sound waves"... or perhaps she had been able to hear when he tested her last but due to the stress of being in his office was "simply unresponsive". Okay, I didn't blame him for his position. But the fact remained that Ivory's behaviour had radically changed. He had at least offered conformation that she was now able to hear.

Over the course of the next few weeks Ivory settled down and became by all appearances a normal, non-skittish, affectionate feline. But she had given our family an extraordinary gift. She had allowed us to experience the unexplainable. She had restored my faith in a universe of possibilities beyond my understanding. And most importantly she affirmed my children's ability to believe... What they choose to believe is of course up to them. As for me, I celebrate the mystery and beauty of Creation, as well as that of the human spirit, and I am grateful for that gift of life and all the miraculous promise that it entails.

© Rapture's Corner

(Please note the photo above was found online. I don't know the source to give proper credit but it is just too perfect not to use.)

Because No One Should Ever Forget...

This just popped into my head this morning as a complete verse. When I get a "popping" I presume it comes from the Universal Consciousness.  I'm posting it here because I believe it's something no one should ever forget...

"You are loved beyond comprehension

You are everything that matters to me

I am with you through every dimension

And all you have to do is just be" 


© Rapture's Corner